To recap what you already know:
You loved me
then I loved you
but the overlap wasn’t quite long enough.
You moved on without me
and left me here
to fixate,
latch on to what we almost had.
What no one’s told you:
I want to get there,
but I can’t bring myself to leave here,
sitting in safety,
still believing I’m next.
You won’t be mine someday,
But I’m all yours.
I’m your trash.
Have a nice Valentine’s day with your girlfriend.
I loved this poem. You did a very good job of explaining a difficult friendship and relationship. I felt like this poem was more of a list, however, I would try to use more symbolism. Can you explain how he left? how you felt? how you knew he loved you? The first line starts off with more a list feel. Maybe change it to "I know you know"?
ReplyDeleteThen the second stanza I would show this one again, show how you feel, what he doesn't know, what has changed. Go from there. Maybe the first line could be "the secrets I kept"? Something a little more poetic that would make it a little less of a list.
The last line is my favorite. I love how you are blunt and straight forward with what you say. It can be taken in two ways, 1) sarcastic and spiteful or 2) sincere and that you miss him but you wish him the best. I love that. Good Job!
- Tori